


in these hands i'll hide

by Issay



Series: One-shot collection [17]
Category: Yellowstone (TV 2018)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Study, F/M, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, honestly these two
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:40:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21795475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Issay/pseuds/Issay
Summary: This is Rip, someone who has always been there, who literally knows where all the bodies are buried and where all the weak spots lie. If there is someone other than herself or father who is completely committed to protecting this family, Beth thinks while staring at the ceiling, it's him and perhaps this is why it scares her so. It's so easy to trust him, to dance with him and to feel like she's not the worst thing in the world when he looks at her. If she is the shield of the Dutton clan, then Rip is the sword.
Relationships: Beth Dutton/Rip Wheeler
Series: One-shot collection [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/640094
Comments: 7
Kudos: 56





	in these hands i'll hide

**Author's Note:**

> Every year in December I dip my toes in a fandom I haven't created in before - and even though this one is teeny tiny, I still enjoy the heck out of it.

The Duttons don't talk about love.

Their family is built on obedience and duty, things more measurable than mere emotions and Beth grows up torn between rebelling and appreciating it.  
“Knowing your place and your responsibilities is the way of life”, her mother says not long before she dies, and Beth takes that to heart, builds her trauma-torn life around it. She leaves home to go to college and study things that will be needed in the future, things that will arm the family and allow them to survive.

"I'm not coming home," she tells her father not long before graduation. "It's better I make the name for myself on my own, daddy. This way they won't see me coming when you need me."

John accepts it, practical as always, and Beth thinks wryly that perhaps for the first time in years she's the least of a disappointment to him out of the four of them. Lee, who lacks the courage to leave the ranch. Jamie, who lacks the discipline to reach his full potential. Kayce, who lacks the spine to fight with John when father kicks him out for making a girl pregnant and refusing to consider it a mistake.

The irony is not lost on Beth who uses men like her brothers use horses, who drinks too much and smokes like it's good for her, who respects nothing and no one.

("So, is it love?" She asks Kayce when he's packing his bag angrily, Beth leaning in the doorway of his room, ready to evacuate quickly if need be. "That girl from the res that you fucked. The kid. Is it love? Is it worth leaving all this?"

"I'm taking responsibility," he bites back, not looking at Beth. "Something you wouldn't know a thing about."

She shrugs then and leaves him to his penance. There is no point in arguing about this and in the grand scheme of things, this one is not important.)

All Beth knows about love is this: it's a weakness. It's an invitation to get hurt. It's showing your enemies where to hit you, like vital organs. Love is a danger, plain and simple, and needs to be avoided at all cost because it will be the end of this family.

And so Beth dances through her adult life ridiculing the men who think they can be more than just bed warmers for one night, and using her sexuality like a weapon. She's half reckless and half absolutely fearless, makes hedge fund managers tremble at the sound of her name, all in preparation for more ruthless wars where the stakes will be much higher. Beth relishes the challenge. And if there is a quiet voice at the back of her head that perhaps it would be nice to find a man and have a family, a house, something to leave behind - she squashes it mercilessly and pours herself another glass of wine. Beth Dutton doesn't have time for sentiment, not now, probably not ever.

...and then she goes home.

It doesn't feel like home, no, it's empty and filled with sadness that isn't hers. Beth's grief for Lee is a distant echo of her father's despair, she attends the funeral because that is the way but in all honesty, Lee has been a stranger with a familiar face. She is there for their father, and John leans on her heavily. Beth accepts her role and place, and it's so easy to slid back into the ranch life. None of it really touches her, not until Rip's lips are caressing the skin of her neck, pleasure still coursing through her system, and suddenly Beth feels like she's home. Here, in this man's arms, held securely between his hard chest and the wall, with the scent of his skin and sex in her nose. Beth can feel her fight or flight instinct kick in, and hides behind a well practiced mask. It doesn't matter. He watches her go with infinitely patient fondness in his dark eyes.

"Fuck," Beth mutters to herself in the middle of the night, sleepless, head filled with thoughts even alcohol can't drive away.

This is Rip, someone who has always been there, who literally knows where all the bodies are buried and where all the weak spots lie. If there is someone other than herself or father who is completely committed to protecting this family, Beth thinks while staring at the ceiling, it's him and perhaps this is why it scares her so. It's so easy to trust him, to dance with him and to feel like she's not the worst thing in the world when he looks at her. If she is the shield of the Dutton clan, then Rip is the sword.

But when you fight against something for so long, it's hard to accept it's not a wholly bad thing – so Beth flirts and fucks her away around anyway, and the warmth in his eyes regardless of what she does scares the living hell out of her.

She watches him with Tate, and that traitorous voice in her head whispers about their own children, and how great of a father he is going to make, and Beth trembles.

It's not until the assault at the office that something changes.

She's shaking, shock and adrenaline fighting for control over her body, her clothes are ripped to shreds and everything really fucking hurts, and there are dead bodies on the floor – but Rip's hands are on her, and he whispers that he loves her, and finally something breaks. Beth clings to him and weeps, no, she howls her anger and fear, and he holds her through it.

„You make me feel safe,” she whispers to him long hours after, when Rip is sleeping in her bed, and Beth is curled up next to him, safe in the knowledge she can confess whatever she wants in the middle of that night. „You're my north star, my lodestone. I didn't understand it before but now I do. I can't promise you anything. But I understand.”

For now, it has to be enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Old Skin" by Ólafur Arnalds.


End file.
